One Whole Page!

It was the Best of Times, it was the Blurst of Times

I’ve written the first page of my novel. I’ll be the first to admit, it’s not spectacular, but rather than hit select all > delete, I just keep telling myself “first draft, first draft, it's just the first draft”. I will probably be too lazy to do a second draft, if I ever actually do complete a first draft. But telling myself that makes me feel better. I will at least go through it and cut out all the shitty run-on sentences, and over punctuation, and spelling mistakes. I’m not that lazy. Not quite.

It went better than I expected though. I wasn’t too sure how to start it. But I persevered. You’ll be riveted to know, in the first page alone, there have been a bunch of swear words (come on, it’s me – what did you expect?), sex, drugs, a hangover, vomiting and potentially a murder. Also some domestic abuse, which I’m not proud of, but was necessary for the drama. Stop looking at me like that. It’s fiction. Really, I’m very much against it. Someone just got murdered ferchrissakes, can we focus on that? Actually, after reading American Psycho, I’m convinced Bret Easton Ellis is a sociopath. You can’t think that shit up without being a little disturbed. It’s still a great book, and he’s still one of my favorite authors, but if you are at all squeamish, don’t read it… says the guy who has sex, drugs, domestic abuse and murder on the first page of his (wannabe) novel.

Anyway, you can’t read it. Yet. I’m way too self-conscious,for that right now, but maybe as I get deeper into it, I’ll send you lovely people some tidbits from it. If you ask really nicely. But it genuinely was nice to get behind the keyboard and let my imagination go. I haven’t done that in a very long time, and I realized how much I miss it. So I’ll keep on trucking, and hopefully someday, you’ll see my name on amazon and download it onto your kindle for, I dunno, probably 25 cents, or free, or I might even offer people money just to read it. So I can tell people I “sold” 15 whole copies of my novel.


  1. Good job mister! All of that on the first page alone... Your novel will be kick ass.

  2. Congratulations! After eight years, I'm still writing my first book (ohmygod am I what failure looks like?), but I like to blame my family for all the unwanted interruptions.

    Keep at it, even when the words blur together and you know you're not drunk - you'll get it done.

    I'll be that person in line at the bookstore when your book is published, telling people: oh yeah, he's a total psycho, but I've known him since forever - we just had drinks yesterday. Actually, he's my brother.

  3. You're an incredible writer so I'm sure you rocked it. This is torture because now I'm DYING to read it. :)

  4. Aw thanks guys. I'm really touched by all the kind words xxx :)

  5. Where are you? There's people in the eWorld who miss your posts!