Giant Cock

Caption Not Necessary















So my place of employment is blocking my blog. Or at least, they’re blocking my most recent post. I’m not sure why. I used the word “fuck”, as I do in pretty much every post paragraph sentence I write, but this time I used it in its literal sense. I also mentioned a vagina, and had sex in the title. But mostly I just discussed my beard. Obviously, there’s some kind of filter on the word sex, which is fucking hilarious when you think about it. And by degrees depressing when you think about it some more.

Last I checked, pretty much everyone I work with is an adult. Which historically has meant that we are capable of making our own decisions in life. Now, those choices could include looking at pornography, in a public setting, in the offices of a major, Fortune 500 corporation. Decisions like that, however, make you a fucking idiot. Nobody is going to do it (and even if they did... so fucking what? It’s just fucking fucking. Where’s the crime?). Putting a filter to block out certain words, so that grown men and women don’t see some skin on their break is a ridiculous display of censorship.

But the kicker, for me, is I didn’t even use the word porn, or pornography, or blowjob, or cumshot, or leather-clad midgets, which are the terms we actually use when we want to get intimate with our laptops. Who the hell types “sex” when they want to see hardcore porn? I haven’t typed that into a searchbar since 1995. The word “sex” has a vast myriad of uses other than people fucking. Hell, the word is on my 5 month-old daughter’s birth certificate. Or maybe it says “gender”... I need to research more. But that just further proves my point. Maybe the internet has corrupted us all a little, maybe it has dragged our minds gutter-wards, but by filtering out a simple little grown-up word like “sex”, ISP’s and businesses, and all the other censors out there are merely compounding the adolescent, chuckling association with it.

Anyway, I figured I'd name this one something entirely different. It’s not entirely accurate. Despite what it says in the narrative of my last post (if you could read it), it’s not that big (that was what we in the business call “creative license.”) So tell me... is this better?

6 comments:

  1. Just stopped by to say I have a mini-disc player, too. Nice cock.

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    1. Ha ha, why thank you. Yeah, I'm a bit more cautious when it comes to buying consumer electronics. Anyway, we shall blog on whether it's obsolete or not. It's my only outlet for all the junk in my brain :)

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  2. Looks like you'll have to change employer?

    Leastwise, that headline will grab the attention of all those searching the web for pages about oversized poultry [I assume that's what they're looking for].

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    1. I had to search for "Giant Rooster" to find the image. My first search was, shall we say... interesting.

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  3. An ex-boyfriend once blogged about having sex with me in his workplace late one evening when we were drunk and in that part of town and all horned up and not willing to catch the subway back to Brooklyn, and included a particularly colorful paragraph about flinging the used condom on top of the lighting fixture above his boss' desk.

    Then, two days later, he was called to the office of his boss, where he was handed a printout of that blog post.

    Which is only a word of warning: If you're working for the City of New York, you might want to put in notice while you can...

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    1. That is hilarious. I don't think my boss reads my blog, but if he does... Pat, I need a payrise.

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